I, Bancini

During my law-enforcement career I responded to a lot—and I really do mean a surprising number—of fights, stabbings, and at least one shooting, at quinceanera celebrations. You can imagine the scene: tables overturned, chairs flying, lots of shrieking and weeping and terrified children hiding behind the DJ table.

The big question, after all of the major players were in bracelets and the ambulances had rolled away to the hospital, was always the same: what could possibly have been so important that people needed to bring out the knives and bats in the middle of a young woman’s long-awaited rite of passage celebration?

The answer was always the same too: nothing.

It’s been helpful for me to see much of our contemporary politics in the same light—a giant quinceanera gone tragically wrong. I’m often left to see the whole national conversation, in fact, as little more than two drunken uncles switch-blading each other over the tamales, rather than some meaningful and sincere effort to resolve our collective problems and differences.


Lots of Talkers, Not So Many Listeners

Also, as a brief aside, it turns out that the FBI brass has an integrity problem. If that surprises you, or you thought you were going to get a shock-proof professional investigation out of them, please call the ranch because I have some ocean-front property opportunities I’d love to discuss with you.

These days, when the environment is so utterly saturated with angry, for-profit demonstrating, and ultra-binary political drum-beating, I’m more attracted than ever to the more solitary kind of activist, those braver and quieter souls working diligently on themselves first, and the rest of the world a very distant second.

But in the age of flash thinking, flash mobs, and flash protests, which are generally as flashy as they are valuable, I’m afraid we’ve more or less sidelined the spirit of Thoreau working it out for himself at Walden, or Rick Bass toiling quietly in the Yaak Valley of Montana in order to present the world with one improved person.

These days, we spend a lot of time insisting on our uniqueness and rightness and then viciously attacking others when they hold the same steadfast view of themselves and their own opinions. Which is just weird.


Parliament Doing the People’s Work

The end result is, naturally, that we have a lot of profound talkers, but not so many good listeners, which is exactly the nightly performance of media pundits in pancake make-up shouting at each other on CNN and FOX.

I’m wondering what any of that insistence actually accomplishes at the end of the day—besides selling ad-blocks, and a big part of me would love to see Sean Hannity and Wolf Blitzer finally shake off the gloves and go at it hockey-style. I wouldn’t pay to see that, but I’d likely check it out later on YouTube.

On the other hand, I probably would make same nachos and host a pay-per-view party to watch an octagon showdown between Sarah Huckabee and Rosie O’Donnell. But that’s probably just the Marine in me.

In all seriousness, the writer Leo Frankowski noted that our “cultures all develop blind spots, things that they don’t even think about because they know the truth about them.” I would argue that we actually do think about those blind spots, but in the tempest of irony that underwrites our polarized age we are mostly incapable of having a productive conversation about any of them.

Which probably shouldn’t be surprising since we are the same people who have been enrolling generations of our children in sociopath academies–by way of hours upon hours of violent media and video games–and are still somehow surprised when they show up to school with a black heart and a gun.


School Shooting Map

It only takes about three minutes observing one of the pancake panels on major media to see that our ability to have a reasonable conversation has been industrialized into an empty marketing ritual. Which is fine, I suppose, except that in the process the once valuable skillset of give and take, of reasoning through a set of differing opinions, isn’t written into the script.

Our founders envisioned Congress to be a part of the solution to this well-known problem of human cooperation, but even Congress can’t manage an approval rate much higher than 15%, so it’s probably better not to pour a whole lot of hope into that vessel either.

Some days, and I’d guess many of you do too, I feel like the character Bancini from the film version of One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest. In the film, you might recall, Bancini grows increasingly agitated until finally he stands up and wanders into the middle of a group therapy session gone alarmingly sideways. “I’m tired,” he says, to no one in particular. “I’m tired and it’s a lot of baloney.”

For his troubles, and while endlessly insisting that he was tired and it was a lot of baloney, Bancini was finally hauled away by the orderlies. But that doesn’t mean he wasn’t on to something.






  1. Melee and mayhem and TV bullshit festivals. You really blew open a subject here Craig. . My wish is that they (the talking heads) were all hung by their tongues. Your matchups are much akin to the unofficial hopes of the U.S. in the Iraq / Iran War secretly was that they hoped they would obliterate one another. For me that would only include the guilty. I must say this out loud. What is the current market price for a devil’s bargain? I sure hope that Sarah H. S. got above market price for her soul. I don’t mean to just single her out, but she really does stand out. As far as so much in entertainment and news it really is not worth the effort of a comment. Even the blind know when the sun is shining. The supposed insane too…

    Leaving Nampa, ID with a load of sugar…



    1. Be sure to tune into the State of the Asylum speech tonight…video is good too so you can watch the Supremes sleeping through most of it. Whadda Country!



      1. Indeed!!

        “When facism comes to America it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.”

        — Sinclair Lewis

        This of course would be a false flag and false cross. Let’s hope he’s wrong.

        I made a lot of deliveries to Melrose Dairy in Melrose, MN and would layover in nearby Sauke Center, MN. This was the hometown of Sinclair Lewis. I went to the museum they have for him and scored a used hardcover with the imprimatur of the museum on the inside of the cover. It gets awful cold up there though. Nice place to visit but would not want to live there…


  2. My wife’s family came out of Hibbing, MN. They were all Serb immigrants who worked in the Iron Range mines. They can have it, with my compliments.



    1. Bob Dylan territory too…
      I helped move friends to Hibbing in back in the 70’s.
      He had family there and was going to work on the re-lining the refractories Saw the big shovel. It was summer though. Went to a lake home and would go in the sauna and then into the lake. Nice little town but not in the winter. I had enough of that in Milwaukee when I got transferred there. That angry lake in the winter…



  3. Hannity by submission. He has been training Jits in his old age and is actually ok at it…



  4. Good day Craig, can you let me know about your decision concerning the book?



  5. Hi Craig. Please let me know whether you allow me to translate the book?



    1. send me an email with your proposal



  6. A similar thought crossed my mind today…what the hell is wrong with a populace that majority believes climate change is real / bad / apocalyptic but can’t identify the top 5 countries in the world that contribute to it, much less point to them on a map but still wants to do away with plastic assault straws because Starbucks did? A populace that can tell you how many times they heard the President played golf last year or when Drake’s next album is “dropping” (into an incinerator, hopefully) but couldn’t point to the Spratly Islands within a hemisphere’s distance on a globe? Lawmakers who think “Healthcare For All” is a brilliant idea, but can’s figure out a way to fund it (much less even do some research on another country that MIGHT have a palatable solution, particularly when we look at what the costs already are here in the USA? Hint: Germany…
    Frankly, a bunker / castle in the middle of Nevada is looking better and better all the time. There’s still gold in them thar hills, and a helluva less pukes. Rant over.



    1. South Dakota. The Black Hills. That’s where my focus is falling.



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