On Wings of Eagles

3986446-luca+brasi

Governor Christie, warming up to the Tattaglia Family–This photo is Part 2 of the on-going Bunkhouse Chronicle Presidential Primary Portraiture series.

Post Eagle-Huntress, we have this fantastic news:  Dutch police are training eagles to take down drones.  I am simply in love with this news, and not because I really have anything against drones.  If I could afford one, I might buy one.  In fact, I have seriously considered buying one and flying it over the ponderosas to our neighbor’s place.  She likes to wander all over the Figure 8 with her dog, a Portuguese Water Dog who is also an unabashed idiot, and she converses with trees and birds and believes that contrails created by passenger jets are actually chem-trails, designed to control our minds.  So the notion of launching a drone over to her place, and hovering it in the kitchen window while she is doing dishes, intrigues me to no end.

I am particularly fond of this drone-hunting eagle program because I was there, on the ground floor, when the deployment of birds for public safety was first being discussed.

The City of Santa Barbara, California, each year hosts a perfectly meaningless, entirely ironic, festival known as Fiesta, or Old Spanish Days.  This is a weeklong event, a celebration of the Spanish heritage of early California, and includes numerous parades, Spanish dancing events, armies of mariachis, taco stands, terrible electric bands, the election of entirely dubious El Presidente’s, those particularly annoying confetti eggs known as cascarones, brigades of drunken college students, gang members, at least one protest from the native Chumash Indians, and quite often several stabbings, or a shooting.

images

Before the shooting starts, let’s saw our horses down into a meaningless lather…

The police are assigned to maintain order during this Spanish themed Mardi-Gras on the central coast, and due to the number of attendants this effort requires the mutual aid of numerous law enforcement agencies.  At the SBPD, of course, it is an annual groan, uttered with loathing, an all-hands-on-deck event both exhausting and unilluminating, and ultimately a confirmation of the disgruntled beat cop’s “theory of maximum-convergence,” which in one interpretation postulates that wherever three or more human beings are converged, idiocy prevails.

But I digress.  It was at one of these conflagrations, and mere hours before a former Seabee turned gang member wielded a handgun during a fistfight, and was subsequently burned down by two SBPD cops, and while standing with our backs in a urine bedecked and confetti decorated alcove, in a state of unadulterated contempt, that one of my brilliant police partners introduced the notion of attack crows as a means of crowd control.

The theory was that instead of fancy “mobile field force” tactics, in place of mounted units or gas or canines, the release of two dozen trained crows into unruly crowds, or even a single crow launched after a trouser-challenged, vulgarity spitting, probationer drunk, might serve the purpose of peace-keeping with attendant ease and enjoyment.  And on the cheap.

tumblr_lyoungdHka1qhal0to1_1280.jpg

Attack Crows, illustration by Tony Millionaire

Like many other proposals, tossed upward into the lofty ranks for consideration, this slice of brilliance was spiked like a beach volleyball, but clearly, the europeans have independently reached a similar, if more aggressive, conclusion.  An impressive bird of prey, substituting for our rather meek carrion-bird proposal, carries substantial weight.  Please note how, in the video, the eagle takes absolute ownership of the drone, once snatched from flight, and flies into a corner with it, apparently ready to plant the flag and defend the spoils of war.

So there’s that.  It lacks the appeal of a young Mongolian woman, learning to hunt the frontier with eagles, but traditions are often adopted, adapted, or simply evolve over time.  I’m in favor of this eagle development, and I haven’t given up on the crows.

  1. They don’t call it a Murder of Crows for nuthin’.

    It does not escape notice that the dearly departed gangbanger hailed from Oxnard. Of course he did.

    Like

    Reply

    1. Oxnard is delightful, naturally, but after any number of RICO cases is now being eclipsed by Santa Maria, where they have enjoyed 15 or so gang-related homicides in the last few months. Lovely.

      Like

      Reply

  2. Santa Maria? Wow, that’s sad. Every time I drive down to Cali I think of Jaquima to Freno. “Quien sabe? Maybe it was paradise.”

    And, as Don Henley says, “Call someplace paradise… kiss it goodbye.”

    Like

    Reply

    1. Yes, the peanutheads with neck tattoos are rapidly destroying the perfection of the old vaquero country, and the legacy of the old vaqueros, “hands as fine as the dealer’s of Reno.” Those old boys who rode the spade bits could slide a horse with dental floss.

      Like

      Reply

      1. “hands as fine as the dealer’s of Reno.”

        I saw what you did there.

        Like

      2. I try. I really do–and hey, it’s fun.

        Like

  3. Now I understand your comments from this morning…obviously no major wires loose here!

    Like

    Reply

    1. Nothing critical is loose, at this point. Ailerons? Check. Flaps? Check. Landing gear? Landing gear? LOL. Great time this morning Jim, appreciate it very much. All is well in this quarter, believe me, the hardest work has been done. Now I just have to check in with Wendy for the regularly scheduled annual, and that way the bird keeps flying. 🙂

      Like

      Reply

  4. adventuresfantastic February 3, 2016 at 6:57 pm

    “So the notion of launching a drone over to her place, and hovering it in the kitchen window while she is doing dishes, intrigues me to no end.”

    ROTFLMAO

    “It lacks the appeal of a young Mongolian woman, learning to hunt the frontier with eagles, but traditions are often adopted, adapted, or simply evolve over time.”

    And on an entirely satrical note, the Dutch police should be careful or they’ll be accused of cultural appropriation.

    Like

    Reply

    1. Oh yes, I can–and have at some length–envisioned a “peekaboo” scenario at the kitchen window. Just for giggles. And the cultural appropriation approach is not that far-fetched…I observed a bald eagle in the video, which no doubt has several groups furiously twittering and shaving off their eyebrows. Weird world, at present.

      Like

      Reply

      1. adventuresfantastic February 3, 2016 at 8:05 pm

        Yeah, I caught the bald eagle, too. I suspect you’re right about the twitter-tantrum over that.

        Like

  5. Very entertaining as always. Our younger son, Bob, does video work and his very fancy drone is used in almost all of his projects. If you go to fwfocus.com and click on the desert image at the far right, you’ll see my favorite one which was a commercial for the new transit trail through Palm Springs. He does everything from shooting to editing to the music… etc. There was one he did that featured Ventura that showed a drone’s view of the citrus crops, ships coming into harbor, etc… drones in the right hands are not only fun, but useful. Date: Wed, 3 Feb 2016 22:09:53 +0000 To: cynthia_wall@msn.com

    Like

    Reply

    1. I will check this out–sounds like Bob is having a lot of fun too. Drones in the right hands…I might not qualify 🙂

      Like

      Reply

  6. I so loved watching the Video of the drone snatching Eagles, I’m also totally in favor of murders, aka a bunch of crows attacking. Did you Mr.Rullman know a group of crows is called a murder lol. Great article.

    Like

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

Jack Donovan

Masculinity and Tribalism

Adventures Fantastic

Reviews, Views, & Occasional News

Bunkhouse Chronicle

Field notes from the Figure 8 Ranch

MountainGuerrilla

Nous Defions!

Frontier Partisans

Field notes from the Figure 8 Ranch

WARFIGHTER

"Strength Through Honor"

%d bloggers like this: